What is Woman Abuse

• It is the attempt to control the behaviour of a wife, common-law partner, or girlfriend.
• It involves a misuse of power by the abuser through the bonds of intimacy, dependency, and trust to render a woman powerless, unequal, and unsafe.
• It is seldom a one-time occurrence and usually takes place within a cycle of violent or abusive actions followed by a "honeymoon" phase, then a time when tensions increase again until another explosion takes place. The cycle is repeated, each time with increased levels of violence.
  

According to Statistics Canada’s 1993 National Survey on Violence Against Women, 3 in 10 women currently or previously married or living in common-law relationships in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual abuse at the hands of their current partner or a former husband or common-law partner.

Types of Abuse

1. Physical Abuse

• Physical abuse includes any form of physical mistreatment.
• Examples of physical abuse are: - slapping, pushing, choking, kicking. This type of abuse can sometimes lead to death.
• Physical abuse is a crime in Canada.

2. Emotional/Verbal Abuse

Emotional/Verbal abuse involves:

• mind games, name-calling, constant criticism.
• belittling and degrading a wife or partner.
• blaming and making false accusations about loyalties or sexual actions.
• criticizing things she is proud of.

3. Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse is:

• Being teased about body parts.
• Being treated like a sex object.
• Being forced to engage in intercourse after a beating, and having pain and injury inflicted during intercourse.
• Being infected with HIV or with other sexually transmitted diseases because husband or partner refuses to use a condom or does not inform the woman about the possibility of infection.
• Sexual abuse is a crime in Canada.

4. Economic/Financial Abuse

Economic/Financial Abuse is:

• Not being allowed to find employment or to keep a job.
• Having no access to the family’s money.
• When partners or husbands use money as a means of control.

6. Psychological/Mental Abuse

Psychological/Mental Abuse is:

• Threats of violence towards a wife, girlfriend, or even children.
• Destroying things that belong to her, e.g. her clothes, or hurting family members or pets.
• Threatening to take away her children.
• Attempting to control her time or activities.
• Being harassed at work by phone calls or visits.
• Being threatened with deportation if she reports the abuse to anyone e.g. the police, a lawyer.

7. Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual Abuse occurs when:

• Spiritual beliefs are made fun of or attacked, or the woman is not allowed to attend church, synagogue, or the temple of her choice.
• Children are raised in a different faith or tradition against her will.

What Are the Signs of Abuse

• depression
• withdrawal
• unexplained cuts, bruises, broken bones
• low self-esteem
• severe anxiety
• feelings of shame and guilt
• overly passive/compliant
• delay or refusal of medical treatment
• social isolation
• discomfort or nervousness around boyfriend, partner, husband, or relative.
• suicide attempts or discussion
• substance abuse
• feelings of jealousy or possession by husband, boyfriend or partner.
• avoiding eye contact.

What You Can Do

If you are being abused, REMEMBER:

• You are not alone.
• It is not your fault.
• No one ever deserves to be abused.
• Help is available.

If you suspect, or know that someone is being abused:

• Be there to believe her, to listen, to let her know she is not alone.
• Support her without judging.
• Give her time to make her own decisions.
• Find out about services available and share them with her.
• Respect her confidentiality.
• Discuss with her what she can do to plan for her own and her children’s safety.

Resources

• The police: You can call the police if the abuser assaults you or says he will. Many are trained to deal with abuse in families and relationships.
• Women’s shelters: They are accessible 24 hours per day and staff and volunteers will give you information and support.
• N.B.: Emergency, sexual assault centers, shelters, and distress lines are listed at the front of telephone directories in most cities and towns across Canada
• Financial Assistance: If you do not have a job you may need financial assistance or welfare. If you are a permanent resident or citizen, you are eligible to apply for this type of assistance.

If you are not a permanent resident or citizen, call your local social services, for assistance or advice.

Other Resources

• Crown Attorney’s Office
• Victim/Witness Assistance Program
• Victim Crisis Unit – Police Services
• Lawyer Referral Service
• Legal Aid Office
• Telephone Crisis Line
• Hospitals – Social Work Department
• Community Resource and Health Centres
• Multicultural Associations in your local area.
• Women’s Centres
• YWCA
• Religious Organizations that help victims of violence.

Myths and Facts About Wife Abuse

Wife Assaults is a New Social Problem

Fact: It is not new. It has been condoned throughout history. For example, the widely used term "rule of thumb" comes from a 1767 English common law that permitted a husband to "chastise his wife with a whip or rattan no wider than his thumb."

Wife Assault Occurs More Often Among Certain Groups of People

Fact: Wife assault occurs in all ethnic, racial, economic, social, and age groups. However, violence in more affluent groups is more hidden because these women use shelters, legal clinics and other social services less often.

Abused Women Could Leave Their Abusive Relationships If They Wanted To

Fact: Women may stay in abusive relationships for many reasons: e.g. they hope the relationship will get better; do not want to break up the family; fear for her safety and that of her children; dependence on partner’s income; loss of self-esteem; nowhere else to go.

Women Often Provoke the Abuse and Deserve What They Get

Fact: No woman ever deserves to be beaten. The true source of violence is the batterer’s desire for power and control over his partner.

Men Who Abuse Their Partners Are Mentally Ill

Fact: Woman abuse is too widespread to be caused by mental illness. The truth is that most men who abuse their partners are not violent outside the home. When abusive men hit their partners they often aim the blows at parts of the body where bruises do not show. If abusive men were truly mentally ill they could not limit their violence in this way.

Alcohol Causes Men to Abuse Their Partners

Fact: Alcohol can make it easier for a man to be violent. However, the real cause of wife abuse is the batterer’s desire for power and control over his partner. Alcohol is often used as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for violent behaviour.

Men are Abused by their Partners as often as Women are

Fact: More than 93% of charges related to spousal abuse in Ontario are laid against men.

Wife Abuse is not a Widespread Problem

Fact: One-fourth of all women have experienced violence at the hands of a current or past partner.

What is Elder Abuse?

Elder abuse may refer to the neglect of, or the physical, financial, or psychosocial mistreatment of a senior. The elderly are vulnerable because of financial and emotional dependency, frailty and poor health.

Financial Abuse

This type of abuse is the most prevalent type experienced by elders, and involves the misuse of money or property. It is likely to be perpetrated by a distant relative or a non-relative than by a close family member.

Physical Abuse

This involves assault, sexual abuse, or the withholding of physical necessities such as food, personal care, hygienic care, or medical care.

Psychosocial Abuse

This type of abuse includes verbal assault, lack of affection, social isolation or denying seniors the chance to participate in decisions affecting their own lives.

Resources for Seniors

• Senior Citizen Home or Day Care Centre
• Advocacy Centre
• Public Health Department
• Social Service Agency
• Police Department
• Distress Center

Know Your Rights

Are You:

• Hit, slapped, kicked, bit, punched by your partner or someone you know?
• Afraid for yourself or your children?
• Threatened with beatings if you leave, talk to a lawyer or go to court?
• Afraid to talk to someone about the abuse?
• Threatened with deportation if you try and talk to someone about the abuse?

If you answer "YES" to any or all of these questions, you are not alone. YOU ARE A VICTIM OF ABUSE.

List of Rights

• You have the right NOT to be abused in any way.
• You have the right to express feelings, even if you feel down.
• You have the right to privacy.
• You have the right to choose your religion and lifestyle.
• You have the right to be free of fear.

No woman deserves to be abused

IWSO provides crisis intervention, counselling and cultural interpretation services to women of any background and age who are being abused, by their partners, boyfriends, or husbands.

You have the right to make informed choices about your life